How to Advocate for Yourself in Labor (From an L&D Nurse Who’s Seen Both Sides)

Because in the moment, it can feel like everything is happening fast

Labor is one of those experiences you can try to prepare for… but until you’re in it, it’s hard to fully know how it will feel.

Things can move quickly.
Decisions can come up unexpectedly.
And it’s easy to feel like you’re just trying to keep up.

As a Labor & Delivery nurse, I’ve been in hundreds of these moments. I’ve seen what it looks like when a mom feels confident and supported—and I’ve also seen when she feels unsure, overwhelmed, or unheard.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean being difficult.
It doesn’t mean pushing back on everything.

It simply means being informed, involved, and comfortable speaking up when something doesn’t feel clear.

Why Advocacy Matters More Than You Think

Your birth experience isn’t just about the outcome—it’s also about how you feel during it.

When you feel:

• Heard

• Informed

• Included in decisions

Everything becomes more manageable—even when things don’t go exactly as planned.

But when you feel:

• Rushed

• Confused

• Left out of conversations

That’s when labor can start to feel overwhelming.

What I See Behind the Scenes

Every provider and nurse communicates a little differently.

Some naturally:

• Explain everything in detail

• Pause and involve you in decisions

• Encourage questions

Others may:

• Move quickly

• Assume understanding

• Focus on efficiency

That doesn’t make anyone “bad”—it just means you may need to speak up to stay included.

What Advocating for Yourself Actually Looks Like

It doesn’t have to be complicated.

It can be as simple as:

• “Can you explain that a little more?”

• “Do I have time to think about this?”

• “Are there other options?”

You don’t need perfect wording.

You just need to stay part of the conversation.

Simple Ways to Advocate in the Moment

1. Ask for clarity

If something doesn’t make sense, pause and ask.

You deserve to understand what’s happening—not just go along with it.

2. Take a breath before answering

You don’t have to respond immediately to every recommendation.

Even a short pause gives you time to process.

3. Lean on your support person

Your partner, doula, or support person can:

• Ask questions for you

• Help you slow things down

• Speak up if you’re focused on contractions

4. Keep your preferences simple and clear

You don’t need a long birth plan.

Even a few key priorities matter:

• Wanting minimal interventions

• Preferring to move during labor

• Asking to understand options before decisions

5. Remember—you are allowed to ask questions

This is your experience.

You are not being difficult by wanting to understand what’s happening.

What Advocacy Does Not Mean

Let’s take the pressure off for a second.

Advocating for yourself does NOT mean:

• Saying no to everything

• Challenging your provider at every step

• Having a “perfect” birth plan

It simply means:
👉 You feel informed
👉 You feel included
👉 You feel respected

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Even with preparation, labor can change quickly.

Sometimes interventions are necessary.
Sometimes plans shift.

Advocacy still matters in those moments.

Because even when the plan changes—you can still:

• Ask questions

• Understand why

• Feel part of the decision

If You Want to Feel More Confident Before Labor Starts…

Advocacy is a lot easier when you already know what to ask.

That’s exactly why I created my guide:

Questions to Ask Before Saying Yes to an Induction or C-Section

Inside, I walk you through:

• What to say in the moment (without overthinking it)

• How to understand your options quickly

• What your provider may not fully explain

• How to stay calm and confident during decisions

👉 [Download the guide here]

Real Talk From an L&D Nurse

The moms who feel the most confident during labor aren’t the ones who know everything…

They’re the ones who feel comfortable asking questions and staying involved.

You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to know it all.

You just need to remember:

You are allowed to speak up.
You are allowed to understand.
And you deserve to feel supported every step of the way.

Also Getting Ready for Baby?

If you’re preparing your hospital bag or postpartum essentials, I’ve put together what I actually recommend (based on both my patients and my own experience):

👉 [Browse my Amazon storefront]

Save This for Later 📌

If you’re pregnant or preparing for delivery, save this so you feel more confident when the moment comes.